Looking for a cookie that will fit into your New Year’s resolution to eat healthy and lose weight?

This is not that cookie.

I’ve never been to Momofuku Milk Bar, but after receiving the cookbook for Christmas, I know it’s my cup of (highly sugared) tea. The recipes in this book have names like Liquid Cheesecake, Apple Pie Layer Cake and Cereal Milk. They use copious amounts of butter and yield cookies as large as Corey’s face. They’re funky and trendy and I want to cook my way through the entire book because just reading it makes me feel cooler than I actually am.

Admittedly, most of the recipes are a bit labor intensive and have lengthy ingredient lists. Each begins with a “mother recipe” – a base from which the rest of the flavors develop. In these Chocolate Chocolate Cookies, the mother recipe is a chocolate “crumb” that adds wonderful texture and flavor to the rich dough.

Sure, it’s a little time consuming – as is the 10-minute process to properly cream your butter, sugar and eggs to author Christina Tosi’s standards. I doubted this would make a difference in the finished product, but I’ve never seen butter, sugar and eggs get so airy and light. Tosi says this step is imperative to achieving that perfect cookie texture (crisp on the outside, chewy on the inside,  nearly underbaked and yet perfectly baked in the center). And by God, she’s right.

These are dangerously good. They contain an insane amount of butter, a double dose of cocoa powder and a healthy pinch of salt to balance the sweetness. If Tosi’s other recipes are even half as delicious as this one, it’ll be an indulgent year in my kitchen!

Chocolate Chocolate Cookies

Adapted from Momofuku Milk Bar

Makes about 12 cookies

Chocolate Crumb*:

2/3 c flour

1 tsp cornstarch

1/2 c sugar

2/3 c cocoa powder (she suggests Valrhona; personally, I love the High Fat Cocoa Powder from Penzeys)

1 tsp kosher salt

6 tbsp butter, melted

Heat your oven to 300. Combine all ingredients except butter in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Mix on low speed until combined. Add the butter and mix again on low speed until the mixture comes together in small clusters. Spread on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper or a silicon mat and bake for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally to break up the clusters. The crumbs should still be moist when you remove them from the oven. Allow to cool completely before using in the Chocolate Chocolate cookie dough.

*The Chocolate Chocolate Cookie recipe uses only half a recipe of Chocolate Crumb. You can freeze the other half for up to one month, or keep at room temperature for one week. I don’t see why you couldn’t cut this recipe in half if you don’t want to deal with leftovers.

Cookie Dough:

16 tbsp (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature

1 1/2 c sugar

2 tbsp corn syrup

1 egg, room temperature

1/4 tsp vanilla extract

2 oz semisweet chocolate chips, melted

1 1/4 c flour

3/4 c cocoa powder

3/4 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp baking soda

1 3/4 tsp kosher salt

1/2 recipe Chocolate Crumb (see above)

Combine the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a large bowl; set aside. Line 2 sheet pans with parchment or silicon mats.

Combine the butter, sugar and corn syrup in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. (Note: For best results, Tosi says it is imperative to use a stand mixer rather than a hand mixer, and for all implements and ingredients to be at room temperature.) Mix on medium high for 2 – 3 minutes, then scrape down the sides of the bowl. Add the egg, vanilla and melted chocolate and mix for 7 – 8 minutes more. The mixture will get quite voluminous and may form soft peaks.

Drop the speed to low and add the flour mixture. Mix until the dough just comes together, one minute or less – do not overmix. Stop the mixer and scrape down the sides of the bowl as needed. Add the Chocolate Crumb and mix on low for about 30 seconds or until just incorporated. The resulting dough will resemble a stiff brownie batter.

Use a large cookie scoop or 1/3 c measuring cup to scoop out portions of dough onto your prepared sheet pans. The dough will be quite sticky and loose, and yes, these cookies will be large – you’ll likely yield a dozen or so. Pat the tops of the cookies flat (you may wish to grease your fingers first) and cover the pans tightly with plastic wrap. Because the dough is fairly wet, they may not look too pretty at this point, but don’t worry – they spread quite a bit in the oven and look more cookie-like. Chill for at least one hour or up to one week – do NOT bake from room temperature.

When the dough has chilled, heat the oven to 375. Space the cookies a minimum of 4 inches apart before baking (you may have to rearrange them on your pans once they’ve chilled) – they will puff and spread  in the oven. Bake for 18 minutes. Cool completely on the pan before transferring to a wire rack or plate. Store in a tightly-covered container for 5 days, or in the freezer for one month.

I never thought I’d continue looking for chocolate chip cookie recipes after discovering this one. It really is the best, but I’m always open to new interpretations of what might be my favorite sweet treat. (More on that in a minute.)

I never expected to take such a long break from blogging. There were many times where I wondered if I’d ever come back…not because I don’t like it, but because it seemed so daunting to cook interesting meals, photograph them and write about them. But my lovely Lucy is eight months old, and has settled into a nice little routine that allows me to spend a little more time in the kitchen. In other words, the kid finally figured out how to nap, and how to go to bed at a decent hour.

I never knew I could love something so much. It’s almost overwhelming. Lucy is funny, sweet, curious and adorable. She’s loud and she loves food. I wonder who passed along those particular traits.

I never imagined we’d leave the cozy house we found when we moved to San Francisco 4 years ago. But since I last blogged, we found out we needed to move, and landed a wonderful apartment in Cole Valley. I loved our old house, but this location makes me feel like we now truly live in the city.

And to get back to those cookies…I never thought I’d use the word delicious to describe a whole wheat chocolate chip cookie. I eat well 92% of the time, but when it comes to baked goods, I want old fashioned butter, sugar and all-purpose flour. These things taste good and are proven to combine for a pleasant cookie, cake or pie experience. But I’ve heard so many good things about the whole wheat chocolate chip cookie recipe in Good to the Grain. People like my friend Tim and my friend Jessica (both of whom enjoy butter and sugar as much as I do) raved about this cookbook, and I trust their culinary opinions.

The recipe is simple. The cookies are nutty, buttery and chewy. Never say never!

Whole Wheat Chocolate Chip Cookies

adapted from Good to the Grain

makes about a dozen cookies – double the recipe if you wish

1.5 c whole wheat flour

3/4 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

3/4 tsp kosher salt

1 stick cold butter, cut into 1/2″ pieces

1/2 c brown sugar

1/2 c white sugar

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla extract

4 oz chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or a SilPat.

Combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a large bowl and whisk to combine. Place the cold butter and both sugars into a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. Mix on low speed until the butter and sugars are blended, roughly 2 minutes. Scrape down the sides of the bowl, add the egg and mix on low speed until just combined. Add in the vanilla and mix, then add the flour mixture, keeping it on low speed until barely combined (about 30 seconds). Scrape down the sides of the bowl.

Stir in the chocolate chips and, if necessary, use your hands to gently incorporate the chips and any remaining bits of flour. (The batter will be dense, so this is easy to do.) Use an ice cream scoop or large spoon to mound about 3 tbsp of dough for each cookie, placing the mounds 3 inches apart on your prepared baking sheet. Bake for 16 to 20 minutes, rotating the pan after 8 or 9 minutes. The cookies are done when they are evenly browned and set around the edges but still slightly soft in the middle. Allow cookies to cool on the pan for a minute or two before gently transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

Repeat with remaining dough. When completely cool, store cookies in an airtight container.

These days, it’s perfectly normal for me to be wide awake at 3 a.m. I used to get frustrated and upset by this, especially when everyone tells me now is the time to stock up on ZZZZs….but I’ve learned to embrace it. And therefore, it’s perfectly normal for me to eat breakfast around 3:30.

Lately it’s also normal for me to spend a lot of time thinking about my baby, who is approximately 4 weeks away from her birthday. I hit the 36 week mark yesterday so there’s no turning back now! These thoughts range from the typical (what will she look like? what will her personality be?) to the laughable. (Example: during last week’s episode of Glee, I actually got teary-eyed thinking about my daughter being bullied in high school and not getting picked to be on a sports team, show choir, or anything else she wants to participate in. Perhaps this is a little premature.)

Finally, if you go by my last few posts, it appears normal for me to subsist solely on baked goods – specifically, brownies and bar cookies. I promise I’m making (and consuming) savory food, but honestly, the baked goods are more interesting to prepare and share. My version of nesting includes only a little bit of cleaning and organizing and a lot of baking. It’s not that I want to eat everything I make (truth be told, I’m losing my appetite in the final few weeks of pregnancy – how depressing is that?!). It’s more that I want to feel a bit of the old me in this new phase, which I have dubbed my temporary normal. Things will change forever when Baby T makes her appearance, so I may as well bake random batches of Zucchini Carrot Bars while I still have time to do so.

These are more cake-like than bar-like, but they’re still delicious. I found myself with a surplus of carrots and zucchini, and while half of the veggies have been consumed raw with ranch dip, the other half went directly into a bowl with butter, sugar and eggs. As abnormal as that sounds, I promise these bars are great for a light, sweet snack – or a 3:30 a.m. breakfast.

Zucchini Carrot Bars

adapted from Fat Witch Brownies

1 1/4 c shredded carrots (I used about 6 medium carrots)

2 c boiling water

8 tbsp (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature

1 c granulated sugar

2 large eggs

1 tsp vanilla

1 1/2 c all purpose flour

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

2 tsp cinnamon

1 1/4 c shredded zucchini (I used about 1 1/2 medium zucchini)

1/2 c coarsely chopped walnuts

1/2 c raisins

Put the shredded carrots in a colander. Pour the boiling water over the top and allow the water to slowly drain. Let the carrots sit and dry for about an hour. If they still seem fairly wet, use a couple of paper towels to gently press out any excess water. (Note: I found that my zucchini was quite wet after shredding it, so while you do NOT add it to the colander with the carrots and boiling water, you may wish to blot it dry when you tend to the carrots.)

Preheat the oven to 350 and prepare a 9×9 pan by either greasing and flouring or lining with nonstick foil, leaving an overhang on all sides (my preferred method). Beat the butter and sugar together until smooth, then add the eggs and beat until fully incorporated. Add the vanilla and mix well.

Sift together the flour, baking soda, salt and cinnamon and add the dry ingredients to the batter. Mix on low speed until fully incorporated, but not overmixed. Add the carrots and zucchini by hand, followed by the walnuts and raisins. Spread the batter into the pan and bake for 35 minutes, or until the top is light brown and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with only a few crumbs (no batter).

Allow to cool on a rack for one hour, and cut into squares just before serving. (If using a glass baking dish, remove from the pan after 10 minutes of cooling – this is where the foil overhang comes in! – then cool fully on the rack.)

I knew it was coming.

People warned me that I might hit a pregnancy wall – that time when pregnancy stops being fun and magical and starts to feel like work. I’m 35 weeks – so close to the finish line – and all of a sudden, I feel kind of terrible. I haven’t gotten a full night’s sleep in…a while. Hormones are raging and minor problems at home and work feel like major catastrophes. When my allergies flared up last week, I decided it would be best to stay home and get a day of rest. I was feeling a little sorry for myself (okay, a lot sorry for myself) when there was a knock at the door….and Mr. UPS Man handed me this:

A new cookbook, sent by my Aunt B.! She and I once visited Fat Witch in NYC’s Chelsea Market and enjoyed their yummy selection of brownies and bar cookies. I didn’t know about this cookbook (though I have tried the Fat Witch boxed brownie mix), so I was thrilled to receive it. Thanks for the surprise, dear aunt. It was just what I needed to snap me out of my funk.

My cookbook collection is intentionally small because I only buy books I know I will use. They have to have more than a handful of viable, tasty recipes. Aunt B. clearly understands this philosophy because every single recipe in the Fat Witch cookbook is something I would make. Everything is prepared in a 9×9″ pan, so it’s great for those of us who prefer to bake in small batches. And don’t worry if brownies aren’t your thing; this little book includes lots of recipes for blondies and bar cookies, which are just as delicious as their fudgy brownie counterparts. My first baking adventure yielded these Apricot Bars, which feature a buttery cookie crust and a gooey topping made with brown sugar and dried fruit.

These were made entirely from pantry staples since we almost always have a bag of dried apricots on hand for quick, easy snacks. They were rich and delicious, and while they tasted like a complicated dessert, they were ridiculously easy to throw together. If every recipe in the cookbook is this fantastic, I’m going to be a fat witch, indeed.

Apricot Bars

adapted from Fat Witch Brownies

3/4 c tightly packed dried apricots

8 tbsp (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temp

1/3 c granulated sugar

1 1/4 c flour

2 large eggs

1 1/4 c packed brown sugar (recipe calls for light; I used dark because it’s what I had)

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1/4 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 350. Line a 9×9″ pan with a double layer of nonstick aluminum foil, leaving enough overhang on all sides of the pan so you will be able to lift the finished product straight from the pan.*

Put the dried apricots in a saucepan along with just enough water to cover them. Bring to a boil, then lower the heat to medium low and simmer, covered, for 10 to 15 minutes or until the fruit is soft. Drain, allow to cool slightly and pat dry with paper towels before chopping into small pieces. Set aside.

Prepare the crust by beating the butter and granulated sugar together on medium speed until pale yellow and creamy. Sift the flour into the butter/sugar and mix on low to medium until well combined and crumbly. Use your hands to pat the dough into the bottom of the prepared baking dish. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, depending on your oven, and remove when the crust is golden brown.

As the crust bakes, prepare the topping by beating the eggs, brown sugar, baking powder, vanilla and salt on medium low speed until smooth and incorporated. Stir in the chopped apricots by hand and pour the topping over the par-baked crust. Return the pan to the oven and bake for an additional 25 – 30 minutes or until the top is golden brown. Remove from the oven and cool on a wire rack for 1 1/2 hours. Use the foil to remove the bars from the pan in one piece, then cut into bars. (If using a glass pan, cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then use the foil to lift the bars out of the pan and cool completely on the wire rack before cutting.)

*As I mentioned in my last post, I prefer using nonstick foil to get brownies and bars out of the pan and facilitate an easier cutting process. If you prefer, you can butter and flour the pan in lieu of using nonstick foil.

Back when I found out I was pregnant (it was actually this weekend!), time seemed to stand still. I calculated my due date and October 26 seemed so far away. And now…here we are. It’s mid September. I go on maternity leave in three weeks, and on that day I’ll technically be full term, so Baby Teague could (safely) arrive at any time. Needless to say, this is exciting, overwhelming and surreal. Are we ready? Probably as ready as you can ever be when you’re a first-time parent. Most necessary baby items have been purchased or gifted (thanks to two great baby showers, which I’ll discuss in greater detail in my next post). Our birthing class is on the books. We’ve scheduled all remaining doctor’s appointments, and I’m doing as much preplanning as I can before I leave my job for a few months. Everything is going smoothly, and yet I still feel like there’s not enough time to get it all done.

This semi-panicky feeling puts a dent in my normal attitude toward food and cooking. I finally understand why many new moms find themselves without time to eat – and I don’t even have a baby yet! You get so caught up in your maternal to-do list that you forget to take time for you. It’s much easier to have a sandwich for dinner and avoid the dishes and housework that follow full-blown meal preparation. I’m not quite as worthless on the weekends since I have more time to cook and relax, but sometimes I get a little too ambitious. Last weekend, for example, I decided to get ahead and cook three meals on Sunday for us to enjoy the rest of the week. And since I was going through that effort,  I figured I should make double batches of everything and donate food to a friend who just had a baby. This was the norm for pre-pregnancy Beth, but it’s not quite as easy now that I’m toting a honeydew melon around in my uterus.

So this weekend, I kept things simple. Homemade brownies for friends who’d invited us to dinner. It was just enough to make me feel productive and take my mind off of that neverending to-do list. It also didn’t hurt that these were, quite possibly, the best homemade brownies I’ve ever made.

The recipe promised the wonderful texture of a boxed mix brownie (i.e., chewy with a shiny, crackly exterior) but with the flavor and quality of one made from scratch. Boy, did it deliver. The corner pieces were nice and chewy, and the middles were wonderfully fudgy. I may feel too busy to make a proper dinner, but something tells me I’ll carve out some time for these brownies.

Chewy Dark Chocolate Brownies

adapted from Cook’s Illustrated

1/3 c cocoa powder (suggested: Hershey’s Special Dark)
1 1/2 tsp instant espresso powder
1/2 c plus 2 tbsp boiling water
8 oz bittersweet chocolate, divided – see below (suggested: Ghirardelli)
4 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
1/2 c plus 2 tbsp vegetable oil
2 large eggs
2 large egg yolks
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 1/2 c sugar
1 3/4 c all-purpose flour
3/4 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 350. Line a 13″x9″ pan with a double layer of nonstick foil* so that there is an overhang on all sides of the pan. (You want there to be foil “handles” on all sides to allow you to lift the brownies from the pan before they are cut.) Make sure foil is pressed evenly into all corners of the pan; set aside.

Finely chop 2 oz of the bittersweet chocolate. Chop the remaining 6 oz of chocolate into approximately 1/2″ chunks.

In a large bowl, whisk together the cocoa powder, espresso powder and boiling water. When mixture is smooth, add the 2 oz of finely chopped chocolate and whisk until chocolate is melted. Add the melted butter and vegetable oil and continue to whisk; don’t worry if the batter appears curdled. Add the eggs, egg yolks and vanilla extract and continue to whisk until mixture is smooth. Add the sugar and whisk until it is incorporated.

Use a rubber spatula to stir in the flour and salt (do not overmix), followed by the remaining chunks of bittersweet chocolate. Pour the batter into the prepared pan and use the spatula to spread it in an even layer. Bake 30 to 35 minutes or until a toothpick inserted halfway between the outer edge and the center of the pan comes out with only a few crumbs attached. (Adjust the cooking time based on your oven; there’s nothing worse than overbaked brownies!)

If using a metal pan: allow to cool in the pan for 1 1/2 hours, then use the foil handles to lift and transfer the brownies to a wire rack to cool completely, about 1 hour more. If using a glass pan: allow to cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then use foil handles to carefully lift and transfer to a wire rack to fully cool for 1 1/2 to two hours more. Cut cooled brownies into squares and serve.

* The original recipe suggests using regular aluminum foil sprayed with cooking spray, but using this method, my brownies stuck a bit to the top layer of foil. I strongly suggest using the miracle product known as Reynolds Non Stick Foil to avoid this little snafu!