Looking for a cookie that will fit into your New Year’s resolution to eat healthy and lose weight?

This is not that cookie.

I’ve never been to Momofuku Milk Bar, but after receiving the cookbook for Christmas, I know it’s my cup of (highly sugared) tea. The recipes in this book have names like Liquid Cheesecake, Apple Pie Layer Cake and Cereal Milk. They use copious amounts of butter and yield cookies as large as Corey’s face. They’re funky and trendy and I want to cook my way through the entire book because just reading it makes me feel cooler than I actually am.

Admittedly, most of the recipes are a bit labor intensive and have lengthy ingredient lists. Each begins with a “mother recipe” – a base from which the rest of the flavors develop. In these Chocolate Chocolate Cookies, the mother recipe is a chocolate “crumb” that adds wonderful texture and flavor to the rich dough.

Sure, it’s a little time consuming – as is the 10-minute process to properly cream your butter, sugar and eggs to author Christina Tosi’s standards. I doubted this would make a difference in the finished product, but I’ve never seen butter, sugar and eggs get so airy and light. Tosi says this step is imperative to achieving that perfect cookie texture (crisp on the outside, chewy on the inside,  nearly underbaked and yet perfectly baked in the center). And by God, she’s right.

These are dangerously good. They contain an insane amount of butter, a double dose of cocoa powder and a healthy pinch of salt to balance the sweetness. If Tosi’s other recipes are even half as delicious as this one, it’ll be an indulgent year in my kitchen!

Chocolate Chocolate Cookies

Adapted from Momofuku Milk Bar

Makes about 12 cookies

Chocolate Crumb*:

2/3 c flour

1 tsp cornstarch

1/2 c sugar

2/3 c cocoa powder (she suggests Valrhona; personally, I love the High Fat Cocoa Powder from Penzeys)

1 tsp kosher salt

6 tbsp butter, melted

Heat your oven to 300. Combine all ingredients except butter in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Mix on low speed until combined. Add the butter and mix again on low speed until the mixture comes together in small clusters. Spread on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper or a silicon mat and bake for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally to break up the clusters. The crumbs should still be moist when you remove them from the oven. Allow to cool completely before using in the Chocolate Chocolate cookie dough.

*The Chocolate Chocolate Cookie recipe uses only half a recipe of Chocolate Crumb. You can freeze the other half for up to one month, or keep at room temperature for one week. I don’t see why you couldn’t cut this recipe in half if you don’t want to deal with leftovers.

Cookie Dough:

16 tbsp (2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature

1 1/2 c sugar

2 tbsp corn syrup

1 egg, room temperature

1/4 tsp vanilla extract

2 oz semisweet chocolate chips, melted

1 1/4 c flour

3/4 c cocoa powder

3/4 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp baking soda

1 3/4 tsp kosher salt

1/2 recipe Chocolate Crumb (see above)

Combine the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a large bowl; set aside. Line 2 sheet pans with parchment or silicon mats.

Combine the butter, sugar and corn syrup in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. (Note: For best results, Tosi says it is imperative to use a stand mixer rather than a hand mixer, and for all implements and ingredients to be at room temperature.) Mix on medium high for 2 – 3 minutes, then scrape down the sides of the bowl. Add the egg, vanilla and melted chocolate and mix for 7 – 8 minutes more. The mixture will get quite voluminous and may form soft peaks.

Drop the speed to low and add the flour mixture. Mix until the dough just comes together, one minute or less – do not overmix. Stop the mixer and scrape down the sides of the bowl as needed. Add the Chocolate Crumb and mix on low for about 30 seconds or until just incorporated. The resulting dough will resemble a stiff brownie batter.

Use a large cookie scoop or 1/3 c measuring cup to scoop out portions of dough onto your prepared sheet pans. The dough will be quite sticky and loose, and yes, these cookies will be large – you’ll likely yield a dozen or so. Pat the tops of the cookies flat (you may wish to grease your fingers first) and cover the pans tightly with plastic wrap. Because the dough is fairly wet, they may not look too pretty at this point, but don’t worry – they spread quite a bit in the oven and look more cookie-like. Chill for at least one hour or up to one week – do NOT bake from room temperature.

When the dough has chilled, heat the oven to 375. Space the cookies a minimum of 4 inches apart before baking (you may have to rearrange them on your pans once they’ve chilled) – they will puff and spread  in the oven. Bake for 18 minutes. Cool completely on the pan before transferring to a wire rack or plate. Store in a tightly-covered container for 5 days, or in the freezer for one month.

I never thought I’d continue looking for chocolate chip cookie recipes after discovering this one. It really is the best, but I’m always open to new interpretations of what might be my favorite sweet treat. (More on that in a minute.)

I never expected to take such a long break from blogging. There were many times where I wondered if I’d ever come back…not because I don’t like it, but because it seemed so daunting to cook interesting meals, photograph them and write about them. But my lovely Lucy is eight months old, and has settled into a nice little routine that allows me to spend a little more time in the kitchen. In other words, the kid finally figured out how to nap, and how to go to bed at a decent hour.

I never knew I could love something so much. It’s almost overwhelming. Lucy is funny, sweet, curious and adorable. She’s loud and she loves food. I wonder who passed along those particular traits.

I never imagined we’d leave the cozy house we found when we moved to San Francisco 4 years ago. But since I last blogged, we found out we needed to move, and landed a wonderful apartment in Cole Valley. I loved our old house, but this location makes me feel like we now truly live in the city.

And to get back to those cookies…I never thought I’d use the word delicious to describe a whole wheat chocolate chip cookie. I eat well 92% of the time, but when it comes to baked goods, I want old fashioned butter, sugar and all-purpose flour. These things taste good and are proven to combine for a pleasant cookie, cake or pie experience. But I’ve heard so many good things about the whole wheat chocolate chip cookie recipe in Good to the Grain. People like my friend Tim and my friend Jessica (both of whom enjoy butter and sugar as much as I do) raved about this cookbook, and I trust their culinary opinions.

The recipe is simple. The cookies are nutty, buttery and chewy. Never say never!

Whole Wheat Chocolate Chip Cookies

adapted from Good to the Grain

makes about a dozen cookies – double the recipe if you wish

1.5 c whole wheat flour

3/4 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

3/4 tsp kosher salt

1 stick cold butter, cut into 1/2″ pieces

1/2 c brown sugar

1/2 c white sugar

1 egg

1 tsp vanilla extract

4 oz chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or a SilPat.

Combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a large bowl and whisk to combine. Place the cold butter and both sugars into a stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. Mix on low speed until the butter and sugars are blended, roughly 2 minutes. Scrape down the sides of the bowl, add the egg and mix on low speed until just combined. Add in the vanilla and mix, then add the flour mixture, keeping it on low speed until barely combined (about 30 seconds). Scrape down the sides of the bowl.

Stir in the chocolate chips and, if necessary, use your hands to gently incorporate the chips and any remaining bits of flour. (The batter will be dense, so this is easy to do.) Use an ice cream scoop or large spoon to mound about 3 tbsp of dough for each cookie, placing the mounds 3 inches apart on your prepared baking sheet. Bake for 16 to 20 minutes, rotating the pan after 8 or 9 minutes. The cookies are done when they are evenly browned and set around the edges but still slightly soft in the middle. Allow cookies to cool on the pan for a minute or two before gently transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

Repeat with remaining dough. When completely cool, store cookies in an airtight container.

I knew it was coming.

People warned me that I might hit a pregnancy wall – that time when pregnancy stops being fun and magical and starts to feel like work. I’m 35 weeks – so close to the finish line – and all of a sudden, I feel kind of terrible. I haven’t gotten a full night’s sleep in…a while. Hormones are raging and minor problems at home and work feel like major catastrophes. When my allergies flared up last week, I decided it would be best to stay home and get a day of rest. I was feeling a little sorry for myself (okay, a lot sorry for myself) when there was a knock at the door….and Mr. UPS Man handed me this:

A new cookbook, sent by my Aunt B.! She and I once visited Fat Witch in NYC’s Chelsea Market and enjoyed their yummy selection of brownies and bar cookies. I didn’t know about this cookbook (though I have tried the Fat Witch boxed brownie mix), so I was thrilled to receive it. Thanks for the surprise, dear aunt. It was just what I needed to snap me out of my funk.

My cookbook collection is intentionally small because I only buy books I know I will use. They have to have more than a handful of viable, tasty recipes. Aunt B. clearly understands this philosophy because every single recipe in the Fat Witch cookbook is something I would make. Everything is prepared in a 9×9″ pan, so it’s great for those of us who prefer to bake in small batches. And don’t worry if brownies aren’t your thing; this little book includes lots of recipes for blondies and bar cookies, which are just as delicious as their fudgy brownie counterparts. My first baking adventure yielded these Apricot Bars, which feature a buttery cookie crust and a gooey topping made with brown sugar and dried fruit.

These were made entirely from pantry staples since we almost always have a bag of dried apricots on hand for quick, easy snacks. They were rich and delicious, and while they tasted like a complicated dessert, they were ridiculously easy to throw together. If every recipe in the cookbook is this fantastic, I’m going to be a fat witch, indeed.

Apricot Bars

adapted from Fat Witch Brownies

3/4 c tightly packed dried apricots

8 tbsp (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temp

1/3 c granulated sugar

1 1/4 c flour

2 large eggs

1 1/4 c packed brown sugar (recipe calls for light; I used dark because it’s what I had)

1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1/4 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 350. Line a 9×9″ pan with a double layer of nonstick aluminum foil, leaving enough overhang on all sides of the pan so you will be able to lift the finished product straight from the pan.*

Put the dried apricots in a saucepan along with just enough water to cover them. Bring to a boil, then lower the heat to medium low and simmer, covered, for 10 to 15 minutes or until the fruit is soft. Drain, allow to cool slightly and pat dry with paper towels before chopping into small pieces. Set aside.

Prepare the crust by beating the butter and granulated sugar together on medium speed until pale yellow and creamy. Sift the flour into the butter/sugar and mix on low to medium until well combined and crumbly. Use your hands to pat the dough into the bottom of the prepared baking dish. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes, depending on your oven, and remove when the crust is golden brown.

As the crust bakes, prepare the topping by beating the eggs, brown sugar, baking powder, vanilla and salt on medium low speed until smooth and incorporated. Stir in the chopped apricots by hand and pour the topping over the par-baked crust. Return the pan to the oven and bake for an additional 25 – 30 minutes or until the top is golden brown. Remove from the oven and cool on a wire rack for 1 1/2 hours. Use the foil to remove the bars from the pan in one piece, then cut into bars. (If using a glass pan, cool in the pan for 10 minutes, then use the foil to lift the bars out of the pan and cool completely on the wire rack before cutting.)

*As I mentioned in my last post, I prefer using nonstick foil to get brownies and bars out of the pan and facilitate an easier cutting process. If you prefer, you can butter and flour the pan in lieu of using nonstick foil.

But these are cookies with more cookies inside. Mind boggling, I know. A local bakery has these fabulous Cookies & Cream cookies, which are basically a buttery, chocolate chip-esque dough with crushed Oreos added instead of the chips. At first, I thought they sounded kind of weird…and then I tasted one. Genius. Pure genius. The crushed cookies add just a bit of texture and a sweet flavor that’s a nice change of pace from traditional chocolate chip.

I didn’t have a recipe to work from, so I decided to wing it and see what happened. I used this dough as the base (because really, it’s the best cookie dough ever) and added 1 cup of crushed mini Oreos in lieu of chocolate chips. To yield one cup, I crushed roughly 4 ounces of cookies. I chose the mini ones because they were on sale, but I next time around, I might use full-size Oreos (15 of them? 20?) and increase the amount to 1 1/2 cups, crushed. These were good – and many people told me they thought the sweetness level was just right – but I’d like a little more Oreo flavor in the next batch. I crumbled mine to a fairly fine consistency, but you could also leave some large chunks in the batter to mimic the texture of chocolate chips.

Some people fry their Oreos…I bake mine into bigger and badder cookies. It’s just how I roll.

My sweet husband hosted a brown bag lunch to glean baby advice and parenting tips from his more experienced coworkers. It was a wonderful idea, and just one small example of the type of father he’ll be. Corey is a researcher, a planner, someone who investigates all possible solutions before settling on the most practical course of action. We all know children do not always follow a predictable path, so it’s a good thing Corey also happens to be the most easy-going and flexible man on the planet.

He asked me to bake something as a thank you to those who attend his event. Chocolate chip cookies were the easiest and most transportable option, and as I stirred up the dough I got to thinking about my own potential as a parent. For most of my 20s, I questioned whether the whole parenting thing was even for me. I loved (most) kids, but I also loved the freedom to do what I want, spend what I want, act how I want with no real responsibility to anyone other than myself and my spouse. I had great younger siblings and a fabulous niece and nephew to dote on and spoil if I was so inclined. I also had a dog who put me through the canine version of the terrible twos for most of his terrier life. Life was pretty good, as is, and my fear of change made me wonder how I could handle an addition to my small family.

The answer lies in chocolate chip cookies.

Baking has always been a selfish process for me. I almost always share the goods with others, but I select recipes based on my own tastes and preferences and use the experience to relieve stress and escape into my own little (sugary) world. It’s hard to bake with friends or family and not try to take over the entire process and do things my way.

Having a child will change all of that. Instead of rushing through the process, I’ll show her how to measure the ingredients, to stir them together, to carefully scoop dough onto a prepared pan. I’ll care less about the look of the finished product, and more about the pride my daughter will feel as she presents a lopsided cookie made especially for her daddy. And instead of giving most of my baked goods away to friends and coworkers because I don’t want so many empty calories at my beck and call, I’ll save most of them for our little family and show my child that on certain days, it’s totally necessary to have cookies and milk for lunch.

Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookies*

adapted from Cook’s Illustrated

makes about 16 cookies

* Yes. They really are perfect. Even better than this recipe, I’d say.

1 3/4 c all-purpose flour

1/2 tsp baking soda

14 tbsp unsalted butter (1 3/4 sticks)

1/2 c white sugar

3/4 c packed brown sugar (recipe suggests dark brown, but light brown is also acceptable)

1 tsp salt

2 tsp vanilla

1 large egg

1 large egg yolk

1 1/4 c chocolate chips

optional: 3/4 c chopped pecans or walnuts

Preheat oven to 375 and line two large baking sheets with parchment or silicone baking mats. Sift or whisk together the flour and baking soda in a medium bowl.

Put 10 tbsp of the butter in a medium skillet set over medium high heat. Allow the butter to melt for 2 minutes and begin to swirl it around the pan, allowing it to brown. Keep the butter moving so it doesn’t burn. Browning should take about 3 minutes and you’ll know it’s done when it smells nutty and it has a dark golden brown color. Remove the pan from the heat and use a heatsafe spatula to transfer the butter to a large, heatsafe mixing bowl. Add the remaining 4 tbsp of cold butter to the melted butter, and stir gently until it is melted.

Add the white sugar, brown sugar, vanilla and salt to the butter and whisk the ingredients together. Add the egg and egg yolk and whisk again until mixture is smooth, 30 seconds. Allow the batter to rest for 3 minutes, then whisk for 30 seconds more. Do this two more times; the end result should be thick and shiny.

Add the flour mixture and stir until just combined, about 1 minute. Gently stir in chocolate chips and nuts, if using. The batter will be soft.

Form each cookie with roughly 3 tbsp of dough (if using a cookie scoop, use a #24). Place cookies 2 inches apart on the prepared baking sheets and bake one tray at a time, 10 to 14 minutes, on the middle rack of your oven. Rotate baking sheet after 5 minutes and check the cookies at 10; you want them to be golden brown and set around the edges, but puffy in the middle. (My oven yielded perfect cookies at 12 minutes.)

Allow to cool on the pan for 1 to 2 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.